and it was capslocked because i was in middle school. inexplicably (maybe explicably but i don't have time to wonder about it), my away messages died with the rise of facebook.
but now i'm so f-ing busy all the damn time that i do need some mode (preferably electronic and self-indulgent [geek!]) to confirm my existence. if i dont, i'll be 75 and in denial. That means I'd be a wrinkly cougar wearing American Apparel. EW WHAT.
So here it is guys (MB in the future). I existed today.Not only did I exist, I had an existential crisis regarding furniture and yoga. I spent a good two hours trying to rearrange all 3 pieces of furniture in my room so that I have enough room to spread out a yoga mat and do shit for class. But I live in a broom closet, right? So I had to actually sit down and draw a variety of possible layouts so that my bed, a coffee table, a suitcase doubling as a desk, and my yoga mat could all co-exist in the same room. Once I picked the winner, I dragged everything around, cleaned, reorganized, and saw that it was good. On the seventh day, I did yoga.
I felt better after the yoga, but not as good as I felt before I reorganized my whole room in order to do the yoga. And then I realized, This is what my life has come to? Reorganizing in hopes of doing better, driving myself into the ground with effort, and raising myself up only to break even? Like, why did I ever bother crawling out of the womb then? I guess there was a reason I was 2 weeks overdue--because I knew that 22.666666 years later I would stress myself out in order to give myself space in order to get as close as possible to how I breathed the day I was born.
GOD! If I wanted to be this ironic, I'd live in Williamsburg.
And that is what I did today.
