Remember how I thought I'd need to go to rehab or get a really unhealthy obsession with some sport that I hate (like golf) to make up for the absence of the Olympics after August 24th?
Well thanks to NBC, I'M OVER IT ALREADY. Well...just with swimming. And effin Michael Phelps. Dude, I think you are an amazing athlete and I want you to do your best---but you know what could trump winning your 390239 gold medals? Taking out our NBC commentators with some deathly breast strokes. America will love you til the end of time.
God, I am so SICK of hearing about "how many" medals MP will win or how he's the "greatest Olympian of all time."
That last statement is bullshit. Do you know how many events they have in swimming? ELEVEN. So does this mean an athlete on our soccer team is less of an Olympian because they can only win ONE gold medal? It makes it look like that one medal that a person has worked a lifetime for isn't good enough. Why have one when you could have 11? It's like McDonald's--you can supersize it!
And don't you love how they shove all the other Americans aside while interviewing them after the relay swims? It's like "Oh, who are you? How does it feel? Good? Okay, so Michael---You're about to go and swim some more and get pimped out by NBC b/c we need some way to justify spending $2.2 billion on little athletes who aren't as well known as Kobe. You know? So give us a sound byte, so we can loop it over and over again til Americans are brainwashed into believing that you are GOD and we don't have to waste time covering other sports. Oh and Michael, tell me what you ate for breakfast this morning? And what's on your ipod? And where's your girlfriend? Can we expect any little Phelps' soon? How 'bout I stick a camera in your home when we get back to the states, mmmkay? Back to you, Bob."
I love America a lot--but someone has got to tell our journalists to chill out.
