When a diabolical designer with thick eyeliner and six inch heels walks in and foreshadows a future of being bitched at, you say, "Lady, they're lights. LIGHTS. Edison invented them out of necessity---not your kind of "necessity" of owning stuff, like your Louboutin heels and your condo at the Plaza, but the necessity of a 13 year-old in Africa who can spend an hour in the evening to do homework after he spends all of his daylight walking two miles to get clean water and harvesting rice for his family's dinner. If you want your lights to look fancy, fine. Spend $16,000 for a pair of sconces, but don't think that includes the entertainment of being able to walk all over the person who's helping you get the stupid lights---because no matter how much money you spend on electricity to pass through a filament of tungsten, you are NOT entitled to act as though you are better then me. I will cut you with your gold Amex card, bitch.
And...your Botox makes you look jowly. Like this guy:
Just thought you should know."
