"In A Perfect World"

If I were allowed to marry an inanimate object, it would have to be my window fan.


Although I would have daily flings with a wheel of triple creme brie.

WALL-E

I was lucky enough to see the movie on the opening day. I remember seeing the preview for it back in 2004, and I was like "who advertises a movie four years in advance?"

People who are pretty sure that they have made a great movie. And they have. There are so many levels to the movie, in that you could look at it purely as a romantic comedy, or it could be a philosophical movie about what it means for a human or robot to be "alive," or it could be an animated (and much, much more enetertaining) Inconvenient Truth.

Or you could just turn the sound off and watch it purely for the amazing animation.

I really can't think of ANYTHING wrong with the movie. Nothing, not a detail.

I've read a couple of critics speculations about its chances to win the best picture oscar. It's raised the bar for all animated films, and I'd go as far as to say for all live action films, too. Since it was able to tell a simple, yet charming story with barely any dialogue I think it's going to set a precedent for less talk, more purpose in screenplays. Or let's hope so, because I'm pretty tired of stupid movies like the chihuhua one in the previews.

Anyway, it was amazing. I want to go back and see it a couple more times, but like Gone With the Wind, I can't imagine not seeing it on the big screen.

Waaaaaaaaalllllleeeeeeeeee

oh and i almost got arrested yesterday but that's for later

i actually AM doing my job right

I now understand something about my job---the reason I was ridiculously confused about everything I had to do isn't because I'm dumb, but because it's always easiest for one's coworkers to place the blame on the new girl who thinks she's dumb.

The crazy catastrophe of glass globes that my manager just put into motion was all done without my knowledge and I was faced with taking the blame from the rest of the staff---but thanks to file NO I'M NOT CRAZY.XLS that tracks every piece of paper that comes to me, I could clear myself of blame because I knew nothing about this crazy woman's shipping whims!

No one can follow that unless they do my job. That's ok. There's no need to clutter the world with unsolicited complaints.

The point is, it's getting clearer to me who's slacking at their job. wheeee! i need the weekend

mizrblemndys

shtup

it's monday. bad. i'm in a rlly bad mood. i dnt like vowels tody obvi

first of all, i'm going to connect with my southern-conservative roots and say something obnoxious: i'm having major problems with foreign accents. i don't have a problem with the people with them, mind you. i've had this issue since i was little--i could never understand my ukrainian violin teacher, and got so nervous and tried to concentrate so hard on deciphering what he was saying that i had no ear left to lend to the suzuki method. then he'd get mad at me when i messed up and berate me, and i guess i never really had to understand what he was saying then to get his point, and so i'd always do better when he was yelling at me. which meant he kept yelling at me. and then i decided it was time to have an american gay man with an amber mustache teach me piano.

the bottom line is i hate being confused, especially audioally. no matter how much you insist on talking to me in a language that isn't english, i'm not going to understand you--even if i do have brown hair and eyes.

don't hit on me either. i know what you're mumbling in between the "hey mommy" and the "look nice today." save that for your actual mom or the wife you have somewhere (i see the wedding ring, ya sleaze ball).

for once, ONCE i just want to be able to understand someone when they're speaking to me. right now i just feel like i keep hitting my head against a wall whenever i try to get anything done because neither of us can understand eachother.

i know it's not fair to bitch about it because most of these people are doing their best. but sometimes, for the same reasons that universities have asian/african/hispanic student groups, i just want to meet other people who speak like me...for just a few seconds. then i'll be ready to take on the dropped r's and dipthongs and all those other great things that make language so fun (really!).

ugh oh the cloudy mondays, bringing out the intolerance in me :(

the early bird gets drunk

yesterday, around 3pm, my boss comes back from a somethingorother having to do with the business expanding and pops open 3 bottles of champagne and one really nice bottle of whiskey. for the next 3 hours, people keep coming into the showroom regardless of the fact that all of us are pretty trashed--which means that the salespeople have to keep popping altoids every time they go to help a customer.

then we closed, went around the corner to a bar and had a lot more to drink. i somehow got home and passed out in my bed at 9:30.

that's 2 nights in a row of (free) heavy drinking with all my co-workers. that could be good, or it could start to get awkward. also, it's starting to affect my 5k time. sigh.

my seven hour trip to mexico

Last night I dreamt I took a trip to Mexico with some friends.

First of all, I forgot my passport (is that even necessary anymore?) so I just wrote my birthday on a piece of scrap paper (a la high school bars in new orleans) and gave it to the dude at the border. Then we did a bunch of fun things but the highlight was something I saw on a roadside---there was some busted up traveling circus/freak show with a mariachi band and a money smoking a cigar. But I actually found that incredibly banal.

What REALLY excited me was the lobster smoking the cigar. Now that's a new twist on an old thing! It looked something like this:



Then I woke up and wondered what type of tequila I had that made me blackout for the whole flight back to New York.

Then I really woke up and thought that was the stupidest dream ever but really wished it were all true.

Tim Russert

I can't find any good picture that can cheer me up...no LOLcats or anything.

I always admired a guy whose show was Sunday mornings. Also, he was the nicest person on television by far.




well, i must go off to do other things than blog at work.

also, note to self: i need to come in at 8:30's from now on. something about "summer hours"...i thought that meant coming in late..?

i haz cheezbrgr. ew

I got a little sad today, so I ate a cheeseburger :(





brgr is a much talked about burger place, but it's not so great. not for the 13 dollars i paid. granted, i got a turkey burger...but i've had way better. and the sweet potato fries were just disappointing. i hope shake shack is way better. sigh. a day of sadness. then i just got sadder and ate some ginger snaps.

whz i sad and eatz grosz brgr? becauz...literally all my friends ended up in NOLA and i am dying a not-so-noble death in yankeeland. i am here by CHOICE, dudez. the choice to become an aging old desk woman who has lolcat pictures in her blog.

and mah friends are all living together in some house with a dining room, living room, sunroom, and 2 bathrooms. that's 8 million more rooms than i have.

and then my parents were planning to go out of town for july 4th, so i didn't book tickets, and now they're not leaving and want me to come in town. for 500 dollars!?!? HMPH.


and also because the cleaning guy who is supposed to sweep around my desk "disappeared" according to his company. he was always sketchy and staring at me...i'm just glad i didn't happen "disappear" with him.

so now there's lint on the floor and not so good chzbrgr in my stomach.

also, the scaffold license for the thing they're building across the street expired two months ago. hmph!

melting

At least in New Orleans when it's so hot that you can't sleep, you can pretend you're in some Tennessee Williams play and numb your body with bourbon while waiting for the .01 mph breeze coming off the gulf.

but this is new york and i'm living in my over-priced 8x10 foot convection oven.

sacredheartburn jesuschrist. please give me a cocktail now.

it may be my last....

This borough is crazy!

Approximately 100 feet from my apartment is this coffee shop called Connecticut Muffin and they have a gazillion muffins and lots of frozen yogurt (different flavors every day!) They also play Purple Rain all day long! Somebody's getting fat and reminiscy this summer!

It is 95 degrees here in Bklyn and I lurv it.

I went running round my hood the other day and quickly discovered that super white girls shouldn't be running alone on certain sides of Prospect Park. In other unrelated news, I ran my fastest 5 miles ever in 35 minutes!

Last night I went to (and was invited to) an art gallery showing in Chelsea courtesy of my swank connections at work. I had a lot of wine and champagne, which led to a furious brainstorm about crashing gallery openings...which means I won't need to rely on seedy old men who ask me my shoe size for my liquid medication!

At the showing, I was also convinced by a friend at work to join the Brooklyn food co-op!

I also opened my nyc bank account the other day and the banker saw my ID and said "you know, it's not that hard to go over the 34th and 8th and just get a NY state ID." To which I had to say, "It's pretty much near impossible to do that if you're from New Orleans." And then Larry said, "You New Orleans people are so loyal."

Yes, and...?

I have to go...the heat and concrete are calling me!

Dispatches from my momma

"I am just so with it. One of the great things about working at a law office in Metairie is that we have ditched the panty hose. Except that the office is cold as h_____. The day I wore pany hose because I was going to meet with one of Pat's clients I was so much more comfortable--until I left the office. I'm voting for pantyhose only if I go to court or meet with clients. Or if the men have to wear black or white tie.

Just call me a 20-something 59 year-old."

yawwhhn

Today is boring. I wonder if everyone else here is trying to look like they have something to do. Cue my role from How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying.

I don't think the coffee here is caffeinated either. I may convert to shots of espresso.

Oh boy! Now I have something to do!

Goodnight, Brooklyn.

Manhattan, you're missed.

it's too quiet here in the 'burbs.

Good to know

Reading an article about schools that produce the most millionaires:

"A dubious distinction goes to New York University. The school has five dropouts who have gone on to become billionaires."

I find this out 3 weeks too late. Am doomed.