Ah, so this is what being a senior is. Staying up for two nights straight writing papers, stopping every 5 blocks for another cup of coffee so I can make it uptown for a job fair at which a big corporation tells me they'll take my resume but they're "not hiring but thanks for standing in line for hours on end and mmm, oh look they give me cookies for working here and putting up with unemployed college grads who haven't showered for two days." I need a break.
No wonder Jonathan sat at the bottom of the pool. If I had a fucking pool or any resemblance of a square foot of grass to myself, that is where I would have my post-graduation existential crisis. But I can't even have it because there is not enough room in this fucking city to do anything that requires stopping or heavily sighing while slowly shuffling your feet because you'll get run over by a cab or accosted by Children International people.
Speaking of cabs and since I've already said fuck in this post, I yelled at a car today that almost ran me over. I'm crossing the street with the walk sign and this car comes barreling through so I glare like "I am NOT going to stop AND my parents are lawyers." But he keeps coming and as he's passing, he looks out the window at me and says "Fuck you!" and I yell back "Fuck you too!" I don't do that ever. Never. And it was in the middle of Times Square...and I can't express it clearly now because I cut my coffee supply off, but it's something to do with almost dying while going to a corporate job fair that didn't even have jobs in the most corporate 9 blocks in America.
I get it, America, I'm unqualified. And I will die poor and alone. You didn't have to send a Lincoln Navigator barreling down 47th street to tell me that.
omg, this is so pathetically a quarter-life crisis. and i still haven't taken a shower. take this as the beginning of a Britney (but with a bachelors degree!) spiral downward...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I'm HONGREE!
This half-marathon thing may have to take a hiatus. I was expecting the mental barriers, the blisters, the exhaustion---all of which haven't proven as difficult as I thought. But I was NOT prepared for my voracious appetite. Really, I have a grocery budget.
All I ever want is chicken and macintosh apples. This healthy eating has to stop. I ate beautiful (and cheap!) banana muffin yesterday and then I was dying running.
This is sad. I don't have time to waste contemplating all this! And crunching numbers!
Maybe I'll just eat a bunch of those MegaProtein Bars with the graphics from the 80's on the wrapper and call it a day. And those gel packs too...mmmmm.
All I ever want is chicken and macintosh apples. This healthy eating has to stop. I ate beautiful (and cheap!) banana muffin yesterday and then I was dying running.
This is sad. I don't have time to waste contemplating all this! And crunching numbers!
Maybe I'll just eat a bunch of those MegaProtein Bars with the graphics from the 80's on the wrapper and call it a day. And those gel packs too...mmmmm.
Monday, April 7, 2008
My feet are crying!
I'm not sure whose genius idea it was to have me train for a half-marathon when I don't even know what I'm going to be doing or where I'll be living in a month. It's a stupid idea, but I'm doing it anyway.
If anything, I've realized, the physical pain and exhaustion will distract me from NOT having a job/apartment (jobartment!). Likewise, the search for the jobartment will distract me from the multiple blisters popping up on both feet.
Popping my blisters with pins reminds me of playing with voodoo dolls. I think it's an omen. I should stop (running, that is).
...tomorrow I think I'm going to get in trouble with a classmate in my screenplay class. In fact, I think she's going to call me a racist!
Update on that later!
If anything, I've realized, the physical pain and exhaustion will distract me from NOT having a job/apartment (jobartment!). Likewise, the search for the jobartment will distract me from the multiple blisters popping up on both feet.
Popping my blisters with pins reminds me of playing with voodoo dolls. I think it's an omen. I should stop (running, that is).
...tomorrow I think I'm going to get in trouble with a classmate in my screenplay class. In fact, I think she's going to call me a racist!
Update on that later!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Give me chickory or give me death
After hearing that I've been considering being a screenwriter, one of my dad's friends (an entertainment lawyer) sat me down over spring break and told me the enormous importance (to him, at least) of there being a movie that captures the real essence of New Orleans. I agree we're lacking the real story of the city.
Writing about NOla, though, is like writing about a person. It's full of opposites. Brash, loud, crazy and lazy, silent, serene. And I'm stopping with those because it's pitiful to even try to begin to list adjectives.
I have this horrible, horrible feeling I will just be some person sitting at a coffee shop on Magazine typing out every story I can think of and it will a crappy attempt at writing New Orleans.
Like really...it's like writing about some crazy girlfriend you have.
Except I don't have a girlfriend and ain't shopping for one. But if New Orleans was a woman, I would totally go gay for that. Waterlines and all.
Writing about NOla, though, is like writing about a person. It's full of opposites. Brash, loud, crazy and lazy, silent, serene. And I'm stopping with those because it's pitiful to even try to begin to list adjectives.
I have this horrible, horrible feeling I will just be some person sitting at a coffee shop on Magazine typing out every story I can think of and it will a crappy attempt at writing New Orleans.
Like really...it's like writing about some crazy girlfriend you have.
Except I don't have a girlfriend and ain't shopping for one. But if New Orleans was a woman, I would totally go gay for that. Waterlines and all.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Soho Sundays
Sunday is now my favorite day of the week since I've moved to the 'hood. There are so many sweet brunch spots and baby trees on Mott Street that it makes me think I'm living in a European snow globe except the snow bits are rays of sunshine, wafts of coffee, and beads of early-morning yoga sweat.
Saccharine overload, I know, right?
Well too bad because my name is Maria VonTrapp and I'm about to share with you some of my favorite things I've found lately.
Videos:
1. This Colbert video cracks me up no many how many times I watch it on repeat:
NOO! Comedy Central took it away. Wow. This is really upsetting.
2. Well the second video combines three favorite things: SNL, Bill Hader, and milkshakes
Saccharine overload, I know, right?
Well too bad because my name is Maria VonTrapp and I'm about to share with you some of my favorite things I've found lately.
Videos:
1. This Colbert video cracks me up no many how many times I watch it on repeat:
NOO! Comedy Central took it away. Wow. This is really upsetting.
2. Well the second video combines three favorite things: SNL, Bill Hader, and milkshakes
Foods:
1. Pink Lady apples- it's like an apple and a peach had sex.
2. Ruby's on Mulberry- went there last night with some friends. Had the pumpkin and chicken salad which ranks as one of the best salads ever. Next time I have to try the Whaley burger--burger with a fried egg, beets, and pineapple.
I'll leave it at that for today.
1. Pink Lady apples- it's like an apple and a peach had sex.
2. Ruby's on Mulberry- went there last night with some friends. Had the pumpkin and chicken salad which ranks as one of the best salads ever. Next time I have to try the Whaley burger--burger with a fried egg, beets, and pineapple.
I'll leave it at that for today.
A Viole(n)t Fall!
Oh SNAP guys!
The Princeton Review TORE US DOWN!
NYU is not the number one dream school anymore. Apparently the "I have lots of money but want to have more sex than I have money (and I guess go to school?)" trend brought on by Sex and the City is officially passe. Why come to NYU for that when you could be at Harvard?
Although, I do hold the "great ladies" theory as to why our reputation endured a turbulent fall: MK and Ashley left.
Maybe it's a combination of both. I guess historians will let us know years from now.
...
i couldn't care less. i just need a reason to not write my screenplay.
although i'm sure many years from now they'll offer "blog writing 101" and this will be GOLD-- PURE HTML GOLD!
...
Also:
"And when I get a cold I get excited to take Sudafed because it's basically speed. Then I lie still, feeling my heart beating in my lips."
YES!
The Princeton Review TORE US DOWN!
NYU is not the number one dream school anymore. Apparently the "I have lots of money but want to have more sex than I have money (and I guess go to school?)" trend brought on by Sex and the City is officially passe. Why come to NYU for that when you could be at Harvard?
Although, I do hold the "great ladies" theory as to why our reputation endured a turbulent fall: MK and Ashley left.
Maybe it's a combination of both. I guess historians will let us know years from now.
...
i couldn't care less. i just need a reason to not write my screenplay.
although i'm sure many years from now they'll offer "blog writing 101" and this will be GOLD-- PURE HTML GOLD!
...
Also:
"And when I get a cold I get excited to take Sudafed because it's basically speed. Then I lie still, feeling my heart beating in my lips."
YES!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
MAH MOMMAH
Today is my momma's birthday! YAY for her!!!
My bro and i gave her an ipod nano. I hope she figures out how to work it because it had too many features for my impatient self to master.
Easter candy is killing me in the most enjoyable way I have ever experienced death. My mom gave me an Dove Bunny...solid 8 ounces of chocolate. Before I tasted it today, my mom told me yesterday she'd already eaten hers. The whole thing. I was aghast.
And then today, not only did I eat my words but also the entire 8 ounce bunny! I was so full with words and chocolate!
So naturally, I had to apologize to her. I can only handle a small amount of chocolate before I feel sick. But this Dove Bunny was different. Crack Bunny. In a perfect world, this Bunny would pull a Jesus and resurrect from my tummy, and all the calories and pain would go away with it...but unfortunately I do not live in Jerusalem 35 AD where these types of things happen.
In a completely unrelated decision (no really), I've started training for my first half-marathon.
We'll see how this goes!
I love John Legend. Really, John, let's go to the park or rendezvous on the fire escape...maybe we WILL go too far. SCANDAL! But that's okay...you could sweet talk your way into my parents' hearts.
Seriously. Call me.
Dove Bunny out!
My bro and i gave her an ipod nano. I hope she figures out how to work it because it had too many features for my impatient self to master.
Easter candy is killing me in the most enjoyable way I have ever experienced death. My mom gave me an Dove Bunny...solid 8 ounces of chocolate. Before I tasted it today, my mom told me yesterday she'd already eaten hers. The whole thing. I was aghast.
And then today, not only did I eat my words but also the entire 8 ounce bunny! I was so full with words and chocolate!
So naturally, I had to apologize to her. I can only handle a small amount of chocolate before I feel sick. But this Dove Bunny was different. Crack Bunny. In a perfect world, this Bunny would pull a Jesus and resurrect from my tummy, and all the calories and pain would go away with it...but unfortunately I do not live in Jerusalem 35 AD where these types of things happen.
In a completely unrelated decision (no really), I've started training for my first half-marathon.
We'll see how this goes!
I love John Legend. Really, John, let's go to the park or rendezvous on the fire escape...maybe we WILL go too far. SCANDAL! But that's okay...you could sweet talk your way into my parents' hearts.
Seriously. Call me.
Dove Bunny out!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Oh I Forgot
I was in this MOVIE over break.
that's right...look for my film tv debut in
I play the chalice.
Or just a student. I had to look grossed out when the professor started talking about vampires. ZOMG! it was disgusting. Bob Newhart is in it...and apparently so is Noah Wyle. Unfortunately, due to my "70 year old trapped in a 20 year old's body" condition, I had no idea who Noah was, but you bet your britches I was excited to be in the presence of the star of the Bob Newhart Show!
It's going to be on TNT.
Please don't be jealous. I would never want art to come between us.
that's right...look for my film tv debut in
The Librarian: The Curse of the Judas Chalice
(coloring my own)I play the chalice.
Or just a student. I had to look grossed out when the professor started talking about vampires. ZOMG! it was disgusting. Bob Newhart is in it...and apparently so is Noah Wyle. Unfortunately, due to my "70 year old trapped in a 20 year old's body" condition, I had no idea who Noah was, but you bet your britches I was excited to be in the presence of the star of the Bob Newhart Show!
It's going to be on TNT.
Please don't be jealous. I would never want art to come between us.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Every day it's like a tornado came through here
WOOOO SB'08 BAYBEE!
that was fun. i crammed a lot in there. blue dogs, i love you.
coming back to nyc is maddening and that's an understatement. UNDER STATEMENT.
in NOLA (in comaprison to nyc), everyone is born with manners.
i come here and people are dumb. like no common sense. ever.
wtf!
that was fun. i crammed a lot in there. blue dogs, i love you.
coming back to nyc is maddening and that's an understatement. UNDER STATEMENT.
in NOLA (in comaprison to nyc), everyone is born with manners.
i come here and people are dumb. like no common sense. ever.
wtf!
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